


Along the Way

by jynx



Series: Bonded [3]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Blink and you'll miss it, Fíli and Kíli are adorable, M/M, Tissue Warning, background bilbo/thorin - Freeform, but they manage!, no really, slightly codependent on each other, until kili breaks fili's heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 05:46:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jynx/pseuds/jynx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A couple of things happen on the way to Erebor...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Along the Way

**Author's Note:**

> So, all of these are kind of drabbles or quick little ficlets about Fili and Kili (and the others) along the way to Erebor. I didn't want to write a whole long drawn out thing about the journey (there's a lot of those already) and kind of instead wanted to focus on what I thought were going to be the most pivotal in terms of Fili and Kili and their already slightly odd bond. A bit of my head cannon is thrown in (and I kind of made up the bonding stuff along the way) so I hope it all works.

1.

“It would be best if you did not wear these,” Thorin said, picking at one of the bonded braids from Kili’s hair. They were about to separate, Thorin for the Iron Hills and Fili and Kili to the Shire to meet up with the rest of their kin.

“Uncle!” Kili protested, his hand going back to grip his braid tightly.

“And no more of that,” Thorin said. He looked regretful but tried to smile at his horrified nephew.

Fili hesitated. “You don’t want it made clear what any of us mean to each other.”

“This quest is going to be dangerous enough as it is,” Thorin agreed. He let go of Kili’s braid to clasp his shoulder tightly. “I want the two of you safe. If that means hiding what we are to each other than so be it. I promised your mother that you would be returned to her in one piece. Neither of you are allowed to make a liar out of me.”

Fili nodded and eased the braid out of Kili’s hand, taking the silver clasps off and putting them in a pocket before slowly unraveling them. Kili’s shoulders drooped as Fili shook out the freed hair. Fili kissed his cheek. “It’ll be okay,” he murmured. “I promise.”

“I hate this,” Kili said.

“It’s the way it has to be, lad,” Thorin said. “To keep the both of you safe, to make sure no one uses you against each other, or against me, and to keep you breathing. That is what is important.”

Kili fingered the hair that used to be braided and nodded. “I understand.”

“Fili, yours should come out as well,” Thorin said gently. 

Kili grabbed Fili’s hand. “Why should his have to come out too?”

Fili squeezed Kili’s hand. “There are those out there that know about us. You missing yours means nothing and you know it. Me without mine?”

Kili nodded, looking even more miserable. “They’d think we dissolved the bond.”

“Or that they were just rumors,” Fili said. “The Company will know about us so it’s not going to be a big issue amongst our kind. It’s just...the others.”

Thorin pulled his youngest nephew into a quick hug. “The Company will know. Dwalin will be amongst us, as will Balin and the others. They know and will not comment.”

Fili smiled at Kili once he was released. “Would you, brother?”

Kili nodded and ran his fingers through Fili’s hair, picking out the braids and slowly unraveling them. He handed the silver fastening to Fili and squared his shoulders slightly. “We’ll see you soon, then, Thorin.”

Thorin nodded, clasping both his nephews close in pride. “When this is all over, you will be able to put those braids back in during a proper bonding ceremony in Erebor as proper princes.”

2.

“We’re supposed to be watching the ponies,” Kili said as Fili pushed him up against the nearest tree. He was grinning, his face lit with joy and eager lust.

“Oh, look,” Fili murmured, “I can see them from over your shoulder. We’re good.” He tugged on Kili’s hair and kissed him desperately. “I hate seeing your hair like this.”

“You agreed,” Kili said with a frown. “You took them out.”

“I’ll just have to find a better way to mark you as mine,” Fili smiled.

“Mahal bless,” Kili groaned, letting his head fall back against the tree. He knew that look in his brother’s eye. It always meant trouble. 

“Don’t forget to watch the ponies,” Fili said as he kissed Kili before going to his knees. “It wouldn’t do to upset Thorin, afterall.”

Kili swallowed hard as Fili pulled at his lacings and let his head fall back, trying to keep an eye on the ponies. Good intentions or not, though, it was very hard to do anything but watch Fili when his brother was putting his mouth to such good use.

3.

“If there’s one thing you can say about the elves,” Kili said as he wiggled a bottle at Fili, “it’s that they definitely know how to brew a good drink.”

Fili pulled Kili into his lap and kissed him. “Are you trying to get me drunk, brother?”

Kili nudged Fili’s head back and poured some of the brew into his mouth. “I don’t have to try,” he said. “We’re both almost already there.” Fili drank as Kili poured more into his mouth. “I miss you, Fee, and we’ve finally got beds. I want you to take me, love me like you haven’t been able to since we left home.”

Fili kissed him, taking the wine away and setting it aside. “I won’t be able to tie you up,” he said. “We need you uninjured.”

Kili ran his fingers through Fili’s hair, gathering some hair and quickly braiding it into one of their bonded braids. “So take me like you did before,” he suggested. “All nice and slow.”

Fili chuckled and braided Kili’s hair in return. He liked seeing the hair braided, liked seeing his Kili wearing his mark. “I can’t wait for this quest to be over,” he said as he settled his hands on Kili’s hips. “I want to put those braids back in your hair, let the whole world know you’re mine.”

Kili shivered happily. “And just think, next time we put those braids in it’ll be in front of everyone. It’s be even more official than before.”

Fili kissed him. “We’ll do it as heroes, as princes of Erebor. Everything will be perfect.”

“It’s already perfect,” Kili said with a bright smile. “I’ve got you.”

4.

After the stone giants, after Thorin had been assured that Fili was all right, Kili had his turn. He pulled Fili toward him and kissed him, cradling Fili’s face gently and pressing as close to him as he possibly could. The other dwarves were chuckling or turning a pointed back while their hobbit sputtered in shock.

“I thought I’d lost you,” Kili whispered, hugging Fili close.

There wasn’t much more they could do in this little cave besides the innocent touches and kisses they were already resigned to using on this journey. It hadn’t been an issue until now because they were able to content themselves with such. Now, when Kili needed so badly to feel Fili’s skin, to know and feel beyond a shadow of a doubt that his brother was whole and safe and alive.

Fili held Kili, stroking his hair to calm himself. “I’m here, Kili. I’m alive. It’s okay.”

Kili made a tiny, distressed noised and grabbed at Fili’s hair with shaking hands, quickly working in the braid and raining kisses down on Fili’s face. “You can’t, you just... You can’t. You’re not allowed to die on me,” he said with his face in Fili’s hair, hand griping the loose braid tightly. “You can’t leave me alone.”

Fili held him, rubbing his back and murmuring nonsense to calm his brother. “It’s going to be okay, Kee, I promise. Everything will be okay. I’m alive, we’re all alive. The worst is over. It’s okay. It’s all okay. It’s going to be okay.”

They laid down together, Kili curled up close in Fili’s arms as he murmured reassurances to lull his brother to sleep. 

5.

“I was wondering,” Bilbo started that night as they made camp after the Eagles had dropped them off. He was sitting with Fili and Kili, watching the two of them curiously. “The two of you...?”

“What about us?” Kili asked, leaning against Fili and holding his hand tightly.

“You’re more than brothers,” Bilbo said.

“A little on the slow side, aren’t you?” Fili teased. Bilbo flustered, protesting loudly and Fili shook his head with a smile. “The others have been covering for us so I really shouldn’t say anything. Yes, we’re more than brothers.”

“Easiest way to put it would be hand-fasted,” Kili said.

Fili hummed softly. “Yes, that rather is the best term. Not the absolute truth but.”

“How long have you two been together?” Bilbo asked, shifting a little.

“Almost two ten-years?” Kili said with a frown.

“Almost,” Fili confirmed with a smile. “You’re horrible with time, little brother.”

“That’s, well. That’s something,” Bilbo said, looking at his hands before looking towards Thorin.

6.

Fili had to stand by, stunned, as the pretty elf lady leaned down and kissed Kili. His brother, his bonded, his very reason for life...and he kissed her back. There was something not quite right about the entire situation, something about the woods...

But no. Kili. His Kili.

His Kili was touching, kissing someone else. He wasn’t looking at Fili, no teasing glances to say “Look, brother, look. Come here and claim me, show everyone what we have.”

Kili’s back was to him. Fili felt a lead weight settle in his stomach, his throat tight with hurt.

This couldn’t be happening.

7\. 

Laketown.

They had been well received by the men there, thrown a feast and been given rooms, but Fili had avoided it all. He avoided the Company, his brother, his uncle, everyone. He couldn’t deal with Kili right then, or the pitying looks the Company sent his way.

Everyone had been right after all. He’d let everything go on too long, let Kili think he could do whatever he wanted. He had let his brother, his heart, run wild for so long in the thought that it was what was best, it was what Kili needed. 

Apparently all he’d needed was that cursed elf lady. 

Fili had seen the way Kili had looked at her. Never had Kili looked at him like that. His heart hurt almost as much as his head as he tried not to think of what he had seen. 

“Fili?” Kili asked hesitantly from behind him.

Fili shook his head. “Not now, Kili.”

Kili grabbed Fili’s elbow and pulled him around. “No, please, we need to talk!”

Fili shook his head. “Kili, if you want to dissolve--”

“Would you just shut up and listen to me,” Kili shouted, looking panicked. “I, dammit, Fee. I’m sorry, I didn’t. I don’t. I love you, I don’t want to lose you.”

“Then what was that?” Fili demanded, pulling his elbow from Kili’s hand. “What was that look you gave that elf, that kiss? I don’t want to keep you from what you want, Kili. I’d rather you be happy than trapped.”

“I am happy!” Kili said, grabbing Fili’s hands. “I don’t know what happened, or why I kissed her. I don’t! Something about those woods and not being able to touch you because what would happen to us if Thranduil found out? And Thorin and I just. Please, Fili...”

Fili tried not to look at Kili, he really did, but he couldn’t avoid it. His brother looked so distraught, so obviously upset with dark circles under his eyes and lines around his mouth and on his brow... Fili reached up and touched the edge of Kili’s eye where a spectacular bruise was forming.

“Who?” Fili asked.

“Dwalin,” Kili said sheepishly. “I didn’t move fast enough to get out of the way.”

“Thorin won’t be pleased,” Fili said with a sigh. He was going to forgive Kili, he knew he was, even as he knew he shouldn’t.

“Thorin was in the room,” Kili said. “He had a few choice words for me too about the whole matter.”

“I bet.”

Kili bit his lip. “We’re not okay, are we?”

Fili let his hand drop from Kili’s face. “No, we’re not. We might be, but not right now. It will take time to fix what happened.”

“As long as you let me fix it,” Kili said. “I’ll do whatever it takes, Fee, I’ll do whatever you want. Just, please, don’t...don’t leave me. I told you before, I can’t lose you.”

Fili bit back the words that so wanted to be spoken and nodded. Kili’s smile was shaky, unsure of so much, but it brightened up the dreary corners of Fili’s heart. The words were still there, though, unspoken, settling in Fili’s bones and heart.

It’s never me, brother, who lets other people touch him and kiss him. I’m not the one people worry about leaving them. I’m the one that gets left.

8.

“Where’s Kili?” Fili demanded, voice barely there as a healer worked quickly to stitch his wounds closed. Bofur and Bifur were with him, having been dispatched by Dwalin while the others were occupied with Thorin or Bilbo or whoever. He didn’t know where Kili was, they’d gotten separated in the battle, and he was panicking enough that the healer was shooting him dirty looks.

“Relax, lad,” Bofur said, taking one of Fili’s hands. “Dori and Nori are with him. Oin’s with your uncle, same with Balin. Your family’s fine.”

“Kili,” Fili stressed. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Beat to crap, just like you,” Bofur said. “So you gotta let the healer fix you up so you can go see him.”

“He’s not going anywhere,” the healer said. “I’m worried about that leg.”

“My leg is fine,” Fili snapped. 

Bifur had said something garbled at that and shook his head at Fili.

Bofur hesitated, looking at Fili’s stubborn expression and the healer’s grim one. “I’ll see if Dori can get Kili here, would that work?”

“If they stay out of my way,” the healer said, motioning to Bifur to help Fili sit up so he could wrap bandages around Fili’s injured side.

“I need to see him,” Fili said as he hissed in pain. 

The healer had finished with his side and was now none too gently cleaning his leg. Fili winced and grit his teeth as he put up with it, hardly noticing as Bofur left. He was biting out curses and jerking slightly under the healer’s hands. It was when he stopped feeling the healer that he let his head fall back and closed his eyes. He knew that wasn’t good. 

“Did you feel that?” the healer asked.

“No,” Fili said, not bothering to try and hold the tears back.

“It’s one spot,” the healer said. “The muscle is damaged here but not severed. You’ll have a limp but you should be fine. The bone is also undamaged.”

“No feeling,” Fili started.

Bifur grabbed Fili’s big toe and dug a nail in. FIli yelped, jerking his leg out of Bifur’s hand and then shouted in pain. He glared at the older dwarf in hurt surprise.

“You felt that,” the healer said with a smile. “You’ll be fine.”

Fili opened his mouth to shout curses at the healer and Bifur when he saw Dori and Bofur helping Kili into the room. “Kili!” Fili said, relief spreading through him and making his limbs tingle with weakness. He pushed himself up off the bed as much as he could with one working arm so he could see better.

Kili was sporting a bandage on his head that he was already bleeding through and holding his arm and ribs carefully. His hand was carefully bandaged but even FIli could see that it didn’t look right. His brother sat down on Fili’s other side, away from the healer, and laid down with him. He looked awful. 

“Kee,” Fili murmured, his uninjured hand stroking through Kili’s hair. “You’re all right.”

“Manner of speaking,” Kili said. “They don’t think I’m going to be able to draw a bow again, or not as good as I used to. You?”

“Limp,” the healer said. “Trouble walking, definitely no running for a while.”

“Looks like the both of us are out of any future fights,” Fili said, pulling Kili tight against his side.

Kili made a noise of distress. “Forge.”

“You’ll be fine,” Dori said from where he was sitting with Bofur and Bifur on the bench against the wall. “The healer said your hand would be good as new with some work.”

“Uncle?” Kili asked into Fili’s hair.

“I haven’t heard,” Fili said. He saw the way the others tensed, though, and the way the healer would not meet his eyes.

“We’re alive,” Kili said tiredly. “I didn’t think we’d make it through that.”

“We did,” Fili said, staying as still as he could as the healer stitched his leg wound shut and wrapped the bandages tight. He had Kili and they were both alive, both safe. 

Balin came in later, a grim look on his face. “Lads, if you can come it’s best if you do.”

Kili sat up, a look of horror dawning on his face. “No...”

Fili grabbed Kili’s uninjured hand. “Help us?” he asked the others.

Bofur came over immediately, offering Fili his shoulder. Fili threw his good arm over it, easing out of bed and trying to keep the pressure off his bad leg. The bone hadn’t been broken, but just barely. It would not hold any of his weight and it took Bofur and Bifur to help him to his uncle’s room with Dori helping Kili.

Thorin was on the bed, pale and calm-looking with his bandages soaked through with blood. Bilbo was sitting next to the bed, looking for all the world as if someone had smacked him upside the head with a hunk of gold. Chairs were being brought for both Fili and Kili and the rest of the Company helped them into the before leaving. Only Dwalin stayed, by the door and out of the way, but he would not leave his king and his friend, not at this point. Not when he was dying.

“You both are all right?” Thorin asked, his voice strong and quiet. He had made peace with his impending death. It made Fili’s heart ache something fierce to see the resignation and acceptance on the face of the man who had never given in to anything, even when he should have.

“Cracked ribs, head wound, hand,” Kili said, holding up his hand with a small smile. “The healers say I’ll be fine.”

“Fili?”

“Cracked ribs, pretty bad side wound, arm, and leg. I’ll walk with a limp from now on,” Fili said. “The rest are minor. We will both be fine after some time.”

“Good,” Thorin said, nodding to himself. “Good.”

“I should...” Bilbo whispered, starting to stand.

“You’re family,” Kili said. “You should stay.”

“Stay, please,” Thorin added, reaching out a hand to the hobbit.

Bilbo took his hand and sat down, looking at Thorin’s fingers.

“Fili, Kili... I’m sorry. I should never have brought you on this quest,” Thorin started. Both of them protested at that but Thorin silenced them with a look. “No, hear me out. Fili, you should have stayed at home with the rest of our people. I never should have put you at such risk, not as my heir and my nephew. I was foolish, and selfish, wanting my family with me and knowing that the two of you would look out for the other and keep us all safe.”

“If you had tried to leave me behind I would have still followed you,” Fili said, rubbing at his eyes. “I would have.”

“No you wouldn’t have,” Thorin said. “Not on your own. You respect duty and know that our people would need you. You would have stayed if I had made you.”

Fili did not deny the truth in his uncle’s words.

“You wouldn’t have been able to keep me away,” Kili said with a smile. “Where I go, Fili goes too. You would have had the both of us whether you wanted us or not.”

“Kili... My wild nephew,” Thorin said. “You of all I should have left behind. I would have tied you to a tree or locked you in a cellar to keep you from this madness.” Kili drew back in shock, biting his lip. “You remind me so much of Frerin,” Thorin continued. “Wild and going wherever your heart leads you. It got him killed at Moria and I almost got you killed here.”

“Uncle, no,” Kili said. “We’re all right. We’ll be fine.”

“I wanted to so much to see you two properly bonded in Erebor,” Thorin said. He was fading before their eyes and Fili could not hold back his tears. Kili was no better, rubbing at his eyes with his good hand and trying so hard not to make any noise. “The quest tested your bond to each other in ways I had not thought possible. If you want to break it--”

“No!” Kili shouted, startling them all as he half came out of his chair. He sat back down and tried with a softer voice. “No, no, I want it to stay.”

“Fili?” Thorin asked, looking at him.

Fili hesitated. “You’re right that it, that the quest, tested us. This wasn’t one of Kili’s games but I don’t think it was real either. Those woods... There is something wrong there. It brought out things that we rather wish we would never have to think about. But no, I don’t want to break the bond. Kili is my whole world, Uncle, and I’m his. We’re going to figure it out. One way or another, we’ll fix it.”

“You will make a good king, Fili,” Thorin said with a proud smile.

Fili tried to smile for his uncle. “Thorin...”

“I’ve made my apologies to my family,” Thorin said, squeezing the hobbit’s hand. “I can go to the halls of my fathers in peace.”

“No,” Kili whispered. 

Thorin reluctantly let go of Bilbo’s hand to gesture for Fili and Kili. Kili got to his feet and carefully made his way into Thorin’s arms. Fili was a little slower, using the chair and Thorin’s bed to leverage himself onto his good leg and then half-collapsed in his uncle’s embrace. Thorin hugged him with all that was left of his waning strength, murmuring blessings and words of love in Khuzdul. They pulled back from the hug and sat on the edges of Thorin’s bed while holding his hands. They sat there, the two of them with Bilbo next to Thorin in his chair and Dwalin by the door, as Thorin closed his eyes for the last time.

9.

“You should stay,” Fili told Bilbo as he watched the hobbit pack his things.

“I cannot,” Bilbo said, keeping his back to Fili.

“You’re family, Uncle Bilbo. You and--” Fili’s voice choked. It was still too close, too raw. “You didn’t have a lot of time together but you are still family.”

“Just because we, we--it doesn’t matter. I was not the only one who held his affections,” Bilbo flustered, pushing his new coat further into his pack with more force than it really needed.

“Bilbo,” Fili said, making his unsteady way into the room with the aid of a cane. “There was no one else for him. We dwarves, we love only once. Yes, we have little loves and sometimes mistake them for grand ones, but you had his whole heart.”

“What wasn’t already taken by the gold,” Bilbo whispered.

Fili tried to smile but couldn’t. “Will you come to visit us?” he asked. “Or at least stay until after the bonding?”

Bilbo hesitated. “I thought you were both already bonded. All this talk about doing it all over again has me confused.”

Fili smiled and gestured to one of the chairs. “May I sit and explain?”

Bilbo nodded and Fili made his way to the chair slowly before sitting. “Bonding has a couple of steps. We’ve both stated our intent before our family and a couple of other witnesses and that is the standard for dwarf hand-fasting vows. This is usually when the pair braid each other’s hair with one braid. Bonding goes beyond that, for those who know without a shadow of doubt that they are the other half to each other’s hearts. There’s another ceremony after a couple of years, just to make sure, where the relationship is announced before all who would come to see. It boils down to another hand-fasting and more blessings. This is where the second braid comes from, from the second commitment to each other. 

“For many that’s enough and fine. For those of Durin’s line, if they find their One, there is another, more formal bonding ceremony. It is done by their king, or the head of their family, and sworn before Mahal. No matter what, after this ceremony, there is not one without the other. You stop being two people and become one whole in Mahal’s eyes. If one dies, the other will follow not long after. You gain some vague knowledge of the other and where they are and what they are feeling. It’s...it’s sacred, is the best way to put it. Mahal sees and if the pair is true, will bless them. Thorin would not let us complete the bonding to the last step for a couple of reasons, the main one being he wanted to do it here, in Erebor.”

Bilbo sat on the bed, turning something small and gold over and over in his hands. “And if the pair is not true?”

Fili hesitated. “Then the bonding fails and is dissolved. The braids come out and the pair are separated.”

Bilbo tucked the flash of gold into his vest pocket. “I can’t. I need to get back to the Shire. You and Kili and the others are always welcome to come see me. I, I can try and come to visit but, I, you must understand.”

“It hurts,” Fili said. “I do understand.” He watched Bilbo get up and wander around the room, picking things up and putting them down again. “You don’t want to see what would happen if Kili and mine’s bond is rejected.”

Bilbo started and then shook his head. “No, no I don’t.”

“I don’t either,” Fili said with a small smile. “I understand. You’ll come and visit, though, right? I won’t have to send Dwalin or Bofur to kidnap you, right?”

Bilbo chuckled, sounding slightly watery. “I’ll visit.”

Fili nodded and got to his feet with the use of the cane. “I will make them kidnap you. You’re family and your our burglar. That’s two very important titles right there.”

Bilbo nodded, turning and coming to give Fili a hug. “I wish things had turned out differently.”

“I know,” Fili said, holding Bilbo close. “I wish he had lived too.”

**Author's Note:**

> So. Yeah. I cried when I wrote Thorin's last scene. Like, I'm not an emotional person (frankly I crack up writing sex and the knifeplay and shit like that) but I actually kind of started crying. So. Uhm. I'm going to apologize to anyone who I made cry (hopefully I did the scene justice but. Well.). :\
> 
> THE GOOD NEWS IS! I get to write King Fili and Consort Kili soon~ :D Yes, this is all just an excuse so that Fili can bend Kili over the throne and show him who's boss.


End file.
